COMPASSIONATE MEN

I never found a compassionate man! I used to feel, "Are they even humans?!" "Why do they act like providers all the time?" "Why are they so aggressive?" Or "Why can't they simply cry?" When I found compassionate men, they turned out to be flirtatious or dramatic at some point. So in my mind I made two rating scales: from aggressive to compassionate and friendly to flirtatious. In my 33 years of life, I only saw four men who weren't afraid of crying. The first one cried to me over the phone, shaking my 23-year-old system of beliefs that men don't cry. It echoes still in my ears, as I hold myself responsible for his tears. He trusted me with life, and I acted more as a woman, and it failed me as a friend. We were thick friends; at times I doubted we had a bit more than that. Since we weren't mature enough to save our friendship, it couldn't become romantic either; we lost both. I value us and cherish us. I don't regret it, but I'm sorry, and I will be sorry until my death as a friend who betrayed you but will stay proud for doing the right thing. The second man is the most compassionate human being I met in my life, and I called him "Angel.". I saw him as soft, sensitive, sentimental, empathetic, protective… and whatnot! He proved to me that a young lady can feel secure both emotionally and physically around a man in his late 20s, even at midnight all alone. I respect him to the core, and I admire him as a true gentleman. I never faced any inappropriate gesture from him, and rarely do men make women feel like humans or more for their physical bodies. I saw him cry many times as his sister was going through an ugly divorce, and it was he who advocated for her to marry his friend, her then-boyfriend, who turned out to be her husband. I I observed a man shedding tears while he was speaking; I witnessed him weeping and sobbing. I shared my first cigarette and witnessed the most beautiful sunrise with him. And I realised a broken man is much better than a gutsy one. The third man I saw crying was facing a difficult term in his academics. He was holding back his tears, but I could feel his sob and pain. He came from a not-so-privileged background. He worked very hard and made his own house even before he was getting a regular job. He had issues with his mentor, and on the work front, luck wasn't favouring him. He was vulnerable. I felt it was an honour when he opened up about his worries and fears. I always found him aggressive, opinionated, and manly. I never knew men were equally afraid of life and concerned about family before that. In many instances I felt he loved me, but he never disrespected the boundaries and took all my "Nos" in a dignified manner. I wondered how a man can apologise just because I didn't like something he had done and that too in front of his friends. He didn't argue, say he was right, or question my "sensitivity.". For a moment I felt he wasn't real. How can an earthly man resist showing off his ego? .. Why did he value our friendship and manage it for years with a lot of respect and dignity? .. I was much more conservative and introspective about all his actions through zooming lenses, but he understood my traditional mindset and concerns and never acted like a "man," as portrayed in movies or in my surroundings. I will be admiring you until my last breath will hold you close to my heart. You deserve it! The last man, whom I call a semi-compassionate human, is my husband. He cries over silly things more than I do, but he makes me cry more during our fights, hence the word semi-compassionate. I love him because he was my bystander at the time of my delivery. He changed my bloody napkins, took me to the toilet, and tolerated all my pre- and post-delivery dramas. I often tell him I couldn't afford to divorce him. But there are 100+ things I don't like about him. However, his record exceeds that of many men I know. And why do we need a man full of muscle if he doesn't have a heart to feel us? Why do we need a man with a longer penis if he doesn't know how many moles his partner has on her body and fails to kiss them at least once?! From Christ to Krishna, all the men who caught a woman's heart were feminine in their nature. They were not flirtatious, but genuinely compassionate.After this revelation, I skipped watching hero-centric movies where men twist their moustaches and show their aggression on and off. I began searching for more nuanced love stories. Finally, Desi me ended up with English movies. From Meghamalhar to The Japanese Wife to Mr and Mrs Iyer... Recently, it was 'Purple Hearts'. I was searching for military movies, and one of the best romantic movies popped up. The hero was a soldier but a human more. I loved the subtle emotions on his face and his deep eyes. The tremors in his voice melted me, and I declared myself to be his fan. I immersed myself in his character; I played him in my mind nonstop. And I searched for his name, Nicholas Galitzine; it led me to "The Idea of You" and then "Red, White, and Royal Blue." Seriously, I've no idea how 2 men in love act. I haven't seen any of them. I was expecting a bromance, but it was a gay romance. I have seen gay porn long before out of curiosity, and it made me uncomfortable. It was violent and made me puke. Hindi serials interest me more than 50 shades of grey. It's a different topic, so let's set it aside for now. But this one, this movie, made me perceive men in a totally different light. There was not just physical intimacy, but there were fears and dreams. And without knowing one's fears and dreams, how can you make love?! Having sex is physical, but making love is divine. loved the way they used the vocabulary too… Both men played it so beautifully, which made me long for them. Both were powerful yet emotional men. Kudos to the team, and I want you to see this movie with your teens. Highly recommended